So I have a stinking cold and sore throat in the 20 degree Rwandan heat and I couldn't sleep on Thursday night, the contents of my head were then emptied onto a word document and are copied and pasted below for you to enjoy! Until next time campers...
And so I lay in my bed with the lights flashing on and off
as the electricity cuts out again and again, the thunder is rolling around the
house and the rain is crashing down on the metal roof and I wonder how I am
ever going to get to sleep. Volunteering in Rwanda can a times feel like an
amazing dream, or an awful nightmare. Whilst moving around the countryside on
my way to and from school on the back of a motorbike taxi I've seen some
astounding natural beauty; sunsets, mist, birds, people going about their
business all add a richness to the backdrop of the country I call my home for
the time being. In the classroom, with the language barrier, cultural differences
and work frustrations I can feel like getting on the first plane out of Kigali
and being in a nice hot shower by tomorrow morning, but patience and prayer get
me through. I came to volunteer in Africa with the hope to make a difference.
Not in a Mother Teresa, Ghandi or Mandela kind of world renowned way, but more
like a ripple on a large pond. I sometimes feel like a skimming stone, moving
around, causing tiny ruptures in the surface of something larger. I believe
that I am where I supposed to be, and when the right time comes, I will move on
with my life as I always do. I was asked recently if it was difficult to come
back to Rwanda after my trip home to the UK for a family wedding and found it
was very difficult to answer. The truth is, it is always hard being away from
home, everything is so much easier in the environment you grew up in, well at
least in my family. I know the area, culture and systems so well and there is a
lot of opportunity and variety which doesn't present itself in the same ways as
I move around the world. I miss my family and their birthdays, christenings,
weddings, anniversaries and other milestone events all the time. I am asked
difficult questions which I struggle to answer without going into a long ramble
or a humbling, stumbling reply, by people who I've never met before, such as;
why are white people so much more intelligent than Africans????? and why do you
have so much money in your country?? and how can I get to Europe??? At home, I
am a face - in a crowd of many, and here I am treated like a celebrity with
crowds of children yelling 'muzungu' and running to touch my skin, hold my hand
and hug me. I've had to learn that cultural differences can make me seem like a
horrible person, such as when I don't 'share' my water bottle with everyone
else in the room and want to keep it to myself (I was told recently that this
is seen as a sign of hatred between people) whereas in the UK you would never
pick up someone else's water bottle and start drinking (unless it was your
immediate family and you were desperate!). I have learnt to take the rough with
the smooth here in Rwanda! I could complain about all the things I don't have
here, the attitudes and negative feelings that come over me while I'm working
or moving around but I would rather focus on all the things I have gained so
far in my ten months of volunteering. Had I not volunteered in Rwanda, I would
never have known how it feels to be an international superstar and actually
understand why they get a little narky about the press and people constantly
being in their faces and personal lives! I wouldn't know how to have a
conversation in Rwandan Sign Language and see the delight in the children's
faces, as they realise that someone outside of the School for the Deaf can
communicate with them. I would not know how to make at least ten different
resources with a rice sack - who knew they could be so versatile (to be honest
- who even knew what one felt or looked like properly as that all goes on
behind supermarket and warehouse doors in the UK). I couldn't imagine the
giggle-provoking joy that a cow (or sheep, or goat) passing by your classroom
window and clip-clopping up the school steps could bring to your day, never
mind when you are on the back of a motorbike taxi and have to stop because a
herd is passing by you on the road or a pig has escaped it's master who is
frantically running behind it with a stick trying to re-gain control of the
situation. Even after living on three different continents, I have never been
so calmed and mesmerised by countryside scenery, sunrises and sunsets here in
Rwanda. Nothing beats emerging up and out of a cloud of mist into bright
sunlight or watching the sunset over lake Kivu illuminate the sky with violets,
pinks, reds and oranges on a murky backdrop of navy blue clouds, mountains and
islands. Walking out of the staffroom and seeing a flutter of sunbirds with
bright blue, yellow or red chests flit around the flowers with their
hummingbirdesque beaks diving in for as much nectar as they can grab. Having
conversations with people who are desperately trying to learn how to speak
English well, even though their mother-tongue is Kinyarwanda and they were
brought up in a French-speaking school system until four years ago when the
policies changed and now everything must be taught and learnt in the
'International Language' of English! Being surprised by very small children who
normally greet me with 'Good Morning' whatever time of day it is, when one
actually gets it right and adds something nice like 'Good afternoon, my
friend'. There might be so much to complain about, but I can honestly say,
after volunteering in Africa, I will never be the same person again. There is
chat online that volunteers get more out of it than the country they volunteer
in does, but I'm not convinced. The ripple effect works for me and has done
since I've been a child. From the moment you are born, you interact with the
world and people in it and wherever I am in the world, I take all the ripples
that have hit me along the way, every life I interact with changes, not for
them, but for me. Selfish, I know, but it is human nature to be, so, I feel
that I act it out in the best possible way, paying it forward where I can and
hoping not to leave damage in my skimming wake. If it can hit a few Rwandan
stones and cause some small ripples, so be it. If not, I will continue on my
way a stronger person. Do I recommend travelling to Africa - yes, it is one of
the most diverse continents on this planet and you will grow as a person after
visiting any of its 54 countries. Will it be easy - no, nothing worth doing
ever is, and that is why I am still here volunteering. I'm truly blessed to be
where and who I am today and I thank all of my family and friends for their
continued contributions to my life. Until
I can pry myself away from life here again to write another blog, enjoy and
keep the ripples flowing...
