"...tell me when it kicks in..." "...all the voices in my mind, pouring out across the lines..."

I write better when I'm tired or hungover, always have and since I haven't really been drinking much for the last four years the over-tiredness is the catalyst for the contents of my head pouring out on the page. So here goes... true story...

In February I was feeling a bit unwell, my stomach was quite sore and we had a training planned in Kigali (the capital) so I went down a day early hoping to see the doctor in the morning before our training started at 1pm. I never made the training, and I write this blog - not from Rwanda but the UK whilst I recover from surgery, having travelled to another country to get it.

That morning (February 12th), I awoke with stomach ache as was becoming usual and sat at the breakfast table with the other volunteers, discussing how best to get to the doctors (and by best I mean cheapest!) when my stomach ache increased ten-fold. I rushed back to my room but could do nothing but writhe in pain and make a quick mobile phone call to another volunteer to come and help me. Sarah (otherwise known as the first nurse) and Simon (my housemate - otherwise known as the second nurse) plus the owner of the guesthouse, managed to carry me to the taxi and get me to the best private hospital in Rwanda where I was promptly put into a bed in A&E. They couldn't control the pain I was in and they couldn't touch my abdominal area without putting me in more pain so they did what any respectable hospital would do, and put me through every possible test they could. Ultrasound - impossible - they couldn't touch me without agony - they said definitely my appendix was ready to pop and I needed surgery. X-Ray - they never told me. So it was settled, confirm appendicitis with a CT - and while I waited they finally gave me the good painkillers - the room span - and I think they could have done anything and I would not have cared at all - I was pain free for the first time that day, it had taken 6 hours. During the CT scan the electricity went off, twice, so it took a while to do, do again and re-do! But it was confirmed as I emerged from the donut of the machine that the consultant surgeon would operate on me along with his post-graduate colleagues - all standing dutifully in line next to him. Just one small trip to the gynecologist to ensure that there were no problems there before the prep for surgery began. When he gave me the second ultrasound with all four other doctors in the room, and told me I wasn't pregnant (Yes- I told you- would be the immaculate conception-but hey my middle name is Mary) there were not signs of ectopic pregnancy or anything else, I didn't care (too high) - I thought they would whip out my appendix and all would be well with the world. So as I lay back in A&E waiting to be admitted and the same doctor who told me it was definitely surgery returned to advise me that he'd looked again at the CT and actually, surgery wasn't required, you can see here on the pictures - as all the lights in the hospital went out - but we will admit you overnight and do some more testing tomorrow, you look a lot better now, again, I wasn't fussed. That night I had a visit from a group of volunteers (YEY!) and I was released the next day after tests confirmed there was nothing actually wrong with me that a short course of antibiotics couldn't cure.

Now it is (thankfully) company policy to ensure we are fit and well before leaving the vicinity of the hospital so I had to stay in a hotel in the capital for a couple of weeks until the antibiotics were done and the doctor (who was still concerned about my abdominal pain) said I could go back. And I did, dutifully return to the TTC and take on light duties only - working from home. There were many award ceremonies going on at that time and I caught a clip of Ed Sheeran singing bloodstream, which I couldn't get out of my head as I was taking lots of pain relief and it clearly wasn't kicking in!
That Sunday I woke about 3am in agony again. I texted Simon at about 5am that I wasn't well and we called for help. Unfortunately the ambulance service was not available at that time (thank God it wasn't a heart attack!) so I waited for someone to drive from the Capital city to the mountains and drive me back to the hospital again. I was admitted again, initially in the children's' ward as there were no beds anywhere else in the hospital, and later on (close to ten pm) moved to a side ward in Renal Unit with one girl next to me. Again my pain wasn't manageable and the staff found my allergy to Onions hard to deal with and I didn't get much to eat - I can't complain though, as most hospitals in Rwanda do't provide food at all and families are outside under big tents cooking for their loved ones three times a day. I can't lie and say I was fine, it was agony and I had a short period of time in a Hypoglycemic coma after which, the medical insurance people decided to air ambulance me to the closest hospital they knew was good - Johannesburg - South Africa. I have to thank Jane, another volunteer for coming to visit me in Rwanda and help me get prepared for that flight, she made me laugh a lot in the little room and things happened a lot quicker when she was there for support! I also have to thank the family of the girl I was laying next to for a week. She (I'm sorry I don't remember her name), a 17 year old young lady in renal failure, could not afford the flight and treatment somewhere else in the world which the best hospital in Rwanda was unable to give her. Her mum stayed every night and all day (apart from a few hours out) and lots of her friends and family came to visit, including a large proportion of the Catholic community who prayed and sung around her bed. Her mum alerted the doctors that there was something wrong when I went into the coma and if she had not been there, then I probably wouldn't be here. She also helped me back and forth to the toilet and washed my hair when it was disgusting! I pray that God looks after them all. The old chestnut of 'there's always somebody worse off' really kicked in at the hospital in Rwanda. The care may not have been at a standard that I am accustomed to having in hospitals in Europe but the doctors and nurses there, do their best with what they have and experience like this bring home how much support is needed from outside agencies to raise medical care standards in developing countries.

Cut to an interesting flight in an air ambulance to Joh'burg involving a ketamine shot and the next 5 days in intensive care. Another whirlwind of drugs and procedures which is all a bit of a blur in which I'm sure I heard doctors discussed how they couldn't save me and I was lucky if I'd make the week, however I'm still here so it was obviously the pain killers talking! I was greeted on the first night by a staff member of VSO SA who was also amazing and brought me lovely things to help get me through being so ill, so far away from everybody including a mobile phone so my parents and I could talk! I had my ipod on to try and counter out the machine noises and couldn't really distinguish when Radiohead came on...

More tests and finally they decided to operate to see what was going on inside me with a laparoscopy. Two one cm holes in my belly button and abdomen later and bloating which made me look 7 months pregnant and they had removed a large cyst. I was transferred to the ward for a week along with a couple of other ladies - one from Mali who had been air-ambulanced there under equally terrifying conditions and another from the UK who had moved to live in SA. Such is my worldwide network of friends that someones aunty came to visit me and bring more magazines, which I didn't really read until I left the hospital. However, she didn't come on a good day and the three of us were all hanging off the sides of the bed jibbering under the affect of the prescribed drugs, but I have to thank whoever she was for the kind gesture, and Amy for linking up with her from the UK. I dutifully trotted round the hospital with the physio to get me back on my feet whilst enjoying both new music recommended by mates: Kate Tempest: The Beigeness and playing old music videos from Rwanda to cheer up not only my ward mates, but even the staff had a little dance: Sitya Loss - Eddy Kenzo.

I then went on to a medical hotel - where people coming to and from surgery stay until they are able to fly. The first time I have sat by a pool and not wanted to go in at all! Then - another first - class flight to the UK, probably the only time I will experience this in my life. Unfortunately I couldn't appreciate all the finery first class has to offer in my post surgery state. I also now know how difficult it is for people in wheelchairs to get about the airport and plane. Since then I have been relaxing and recovering at home. Followed by more rigorous testing by the NHS to which I am incredibly grateful for giving me a proper diagnosis and ruling out and further surgeries, cancers etc.
So I've been home since the 23rd of March, in that time, I got to see my 89 year old grandma and pray with her for the last time followed by a reading at her funeral service.  After not much of a response for the last 10 years, having her open her eyes, give a big grin and mouth along to the Lord's prayer with me was a true blessing, as is her passing on to better things. I was also home for my birthday for the first time in 14 years, so we hired a hot-tub for the back garden and enjoyed the BBQ food and fun and laughter of friends and family.
I now await my flight back to Rwanda on Friday to end my contract. What can I say but...
...it's been emotional. I am so thankful and blessed for everyones love and support all the time, they say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, I am testament to that. Thanks and praise!

In loving memory of D M Marshall 1925-1915

Goodbye 2014 - Hello 2015!

I realise now that its always busy in Rwanda, even during the holidays! They ended on Monday, so its back to the Teacher Training College for me - not that I haven't been working since the 5th of January anyway!

I had a great Christmas and New Year in  Byumba. We decided to buy a chicken (or two) and have a feast on Christmas eve and Christmas day. I didn't think I'd ever be on the back of a motorbike taxi with two live chickens hanging from my right hand by their feet! I also didn't know how much stuff you have to do to a chicken before you can cook it when you buy it live! Luckily my friend and fellow volunteer Christ is an expert, so we killed it the Halal way (for Prima) and had great food for two days. We also attended Christmas day mass - the last one at 10am, not the 6 or 8am sessions which most of my colleagues went to. Mum sent the Christmas pudding and crackers so we had a bit of an English vibe going, and Simon just got back from the Philippines with bags of sweets traditional at xmas there. Another friend provided the mulled wine sachets and we partied until 2am to see the new year in!   Plus lots of Karaoke, TV and movies on the laptop and we all had a great Christmas and new year week. 

In the mix of the holiday fever and new years not on holiday but not back to college yet I did some more painting and copied some rice sack books, celebrated a birthday or two and was invited to a principals house. It was also the Quarterly meeting for all the volunteers and we took over a local bar after the last day (Tuesday!) where I DJ'd and projected dance videos and we generally had a right good time!

Now it's back to business as usual at the TTC, preparing the Year 3's for their 9 week internships at primary school and cataloging all the new materials that have been bought for the resource centre by VSO. Bring on the Saturday training, new, shy Year 1 student teachers and my last year in Rwanda.

On February 3rd, I celebrate my one year Rwandanniversary probably with brochette and chips at the local bar! I handed in my notice at the beginning of this year and after 18 months in Rwanda and 3 months in Ethiopia, my volunteering journey in Africa will end in July 2015, I will continue to support both the organisations I have volunteered with so that they can continue their good work.



I also say "see you soon" to my good friend Amy who has gone back to the UK to bring new life into the world - can't wait to meet the Ugland Princess when I get home!

There won't be snow in Rwanda this Christmas...

...but there will be sun, rain, hail and frost on the plants in the morning!
It's been another busy month, schools are on long holidays so I've been putting my efforts into other things, mainly painting classrooms (even though I'm not too good at it!) and doing some more primary teacher training in the schools where I know the student teachers will visit on internship in January. Lots of resources made, Fanta drunk, melange's eaten and laughs and smiles all round when I treat adults like primary children, to try to encourage them to run and touch the board as fast as they can or roar like lions!

I've been patiently awaiting a parcel from my mum containing things to make Rwanda feel a bit more Christmassy and had a phonecall to say it had arrived - only to be told, that was a different post office, somewhere else in Rwanda and a week later as I expectantly go to see the man who speaks no English in the "iposita" he shakes his head to tell me it's still not here. Nevermind, the expectation is sometimes better than the parcel (as I have found in other parts of the world) - unless it contains chocolate - then it rocks!

Sadly, it has also been a month of goodbyes :-(  Megan, Suzanne and Lisa all went back home to enjoy Christmas with their families, as have many volunteers for a short period. Unfortunately though, these lovely ladies will not be returning (unless on holiday). It's great to have met them and made memories together! Also, any excuse to got he the capital city and blow my volunteers allowance on amazing food and drink and have a hot shower (or not!) is greatly appreciated.

 Catherine loves the elephant I painted, soooo much!
Helping out with Save the Children ECE training at the Anglican guesthouse!

 Possibly the most expensive weekend I've had in Kigali for eating and drinking! I was even told I've got "fatter" on Monday - must have been the prawns, burgers, mashed potatoes, chips, wine, martinis, dessert and good company I had.

 Discussing with a moto driver 'Danny" about Christmas food, I explained that a bird is traditional but here I wouldn't know where to begin. He proceeded to tell me about where to get a live bird in the market, bring it home, chop the neck, put it in hot water and pluck the feathers before removing the insides. I said, if he was willing to do all that, I'd cook dinner and he could eat with us - he agreed - so this festive lunch could be interesting!

December 5th was International Volunteers Day, so the few of us who could make it from around Rwanda planted some trees, listened to speeches, testimonies, watched great gymnastic and Intore dancing performances and were thanked by a nice gentleman for volunteering in Rwanda - on behalf of the President and the whole country!

GOOD TIMES - Bring on Christmas with the crazy crew!

MIDNIGHT MADNESS

So I have a stinking cold and sore throat in the 20 degree Rwandan heat and I couldn't sleep on Thursday night, the contents of my head were then emptied onto a word document and are copied and pasted below for you to enjoy! Until next time campers...

And so I lay in my bed with the lights flashing on and off as the electricity cuts out again and again, the thunder is rolling around the house and the rain is crashing down on the metal roof and I wonder how I am ever going to get to sleep. Volunteering in Rwanda can a times feel like an amazing dream, or an awful nightmare. Whilst moving around the countryside on my way to and from school on the back of a motorbike taxi I've seen some astounding natural beauty; sunsets, mist, birds, people going about their business all add a richness to the backdrop of the country I call my home for the time being. In the classroom, with the language barrier, cultural differences and work frustrations I can feel like getting on the first plane out of Kigali and being in a nice hot shower by tomorrow morning, but patience and prayer get me through. I came to volunteer in Africa with the hope to make a difference. Not in a Mother Teresa, Ghandi or Mandela kind of world renowned way, but more like a ripple on a large pond. I sometimes feel like a skimming stone, moving around, causing tiny ruptures in the surface of something larger. I believe that I am where I supposed to be, and when the right time comes, I will move on with my life as I always do. I was asked recently if it was difficult to come back to Rwanda after my trip home to the UK for a family wedding and found it was very difficult to answer. The truth is, it is always hard being away from home, everything is so much easier in the environment you grew up in, well at least in my family. I know the area, culture and systems so well and there is a lot of opportunity and variety which doesn't present itself in the same ways as I move around the world. I miss my family and their birthdays, christenings, weddings, anniversaries and other milestone events all the time. I am asked difficult questions which I struggle to answer without going into a long ramble or a humbling, stumbling reply, by people who I've never met before, such as; why are white people so much more intelligent than Africans????? and why do you have so much money in your country?? and how can I get to Europe??? At home, I am a face - in a crowd of many, and here I am treated like a celebrity with crowds of children yelling 'muzungu' and running to touch my skin, hold my hand and hug me. I've had to learn that cultural differences can make me seem like a horrible person, such as when I don't 'share' my water bottle with everyone else in the room and want to keep it to myself (I was told recently that this is seen as a sign of hatred between people) whereas in the UK you would never pick up someone else's water bottle and start drinking (unless it was your immediate family and you were desperate!). I have learnt to take the rough with the smooth here in Rwanda! I could complain about all the things I don't have here, the attitudes and negative feelings that come over me while I'm working or moving around but I would rather focus on all the things I have gained so far in my ten months of volunteering. Had I not volunteered in Rwanda, I would never have known how it feels to be an international superstar and actually understand why they get a little narky about the press and people constantly being in their faces and personal lives! I wouldn't know how to have a conversation in Rwandan Sign Language and see the delight in the children's faces, as they realise that someone outside of the School for the Deaf can communicate with them. I would not know how to make at least ten different resources with a rice sack - who knew they could be so versatile (to be honest - who even knew what one felt or looked like properly as that all goes on behind supermarket and warehouse doors in the UK). I couldn't imagine the giggle-provoking joy that a cow (or sheep, or goat) passing by your classroom window and clip-clopping up the school steps could bring to your day, never mind when you are on the back of a motorbike taxi and have to stop because a herd is passing by you on the road or a pig has escaped it's master who is frantically running behind it with a stick trying to re-gain control of the situation. Even after living on three different continents, I have never been so calmed and mesmerised by countryside scenery, sunrises and sunsets here in Rwanda. Nothing beats emerging up and out of a cloud of mist into bright sunlight or watching the sunset over lake Kivu illuminate the sky with violets, pinks, reds and oranges on a murky backdrop of navy blue clouds, mountains and islands. Walking out of the staffroom and seeing a flutter of sunbirds with bright blue, yellow or red chests flit around the flowers with their hummingbirdesque beaks diving in for as much nectar as they can grab. Having conversations with people who are desperately trying to learn how to speak English well, even though their mother-tongue is Kinyarwanda and they were brought up in a French-speaking school system until four years ago when the policies changed and now everything must be taught and learnt in the 'International Language' of English! Being surprised by very small children who normally greet me with 'Good Morning' whatever time of day it is, when one actually gets it right and adds something nice like 'Good afternoon, my friend'. There might be so much to complain about, but I can honestly say, after volunteering in Africa, I will never be the same person again. There is chat online that volunteers get more out of it than the country they volunteer in does, but I'm not convinced. The ripple effect works for me and has done since I've been a child. From the moment you are born, you interact with the world and people in it and wherever I am in the world, I take all the ripples that have hit me along the way, every life I interact with changes, not for them, but for me. Selfish, I know, but it is human nature to be, so, I feel that I act it out in the best possible way, paying it forward where I can and hoping not to leave damage in my skimming wake. If it can hit a few Rwandan stones and cause some small ripples, so be it. If not, I will continue on my way a stronger person. Do I recommend travelling to Africa - yes, it is one of the most diverse continents on this planet and you will grow as a person after visiting any of its 54 countries. Will it be easy - no, nothing worth doing ever is, and that is why I am still here volunteering. I'm truly blessed to be where and who I am today and I thank all of my family and friends for their continued contributions to my life.   Until I can pry myself away from life here again to write another blog, enjoy and keep the ripples flowing...

The length between my blogs seems to be increasing - much like the length between hot showers!

So it's been a busy couple of months here in Rwanda, working hard at the Teacher Training College (TTC) and assisting the school which is closest to it, having our annual partnership review. There is just one *official* week of college left, then the year three's will take their exams and all will be done until January! I however am training for the next few weeks and working on the model classroom I've started setting up in the TTC. The hope is that students from the local school and nursery will be invited to work in small groups with the student teachers here so they can get a bit more realistic micro-teaching experience before heading off to their 3 month internship in year three. 

I've also moved house, and now live with Simon - the Literacy and Numeracy Advisor at the TTC, so only a 2 minute walk in the morning for me, no noisy town around and hot lunches! 

I had a flying visit home to the UK for ten days in September to celebrate my cousins wedding and 2nd cousins christening - long may they be happy and blessed! It was good to catch up with everyone - if only for a night! and eat lovely food again, thanks to all those who made it special. I'm particularly impressed that my niece is in the Giraffes Class and that I got to drop her off in her first few weeks of school. My nephew is also now causing chaos at nursery two days a week - time flies when you are having fun!  

For now it's all rice sacks, bottle tops and homemade games for me and the students, and the teachers!

The masters is going well too, assignment no.1 in and I'm awaiting the results of the first academic essay I've written in 8 years! It's good to be reading at that higher level again, but I'd totally forgot the brain-work writing and referencing takes.
Anyway, bit of a boring blog, but I thought I'd better check in. For the record - No Ebola in Rwanda and I'm still a muzungu (rich person) to everyone I meet - except the children that live in the animal shed next door, they say "good morning my friend" every time I walk by - day or night! 

And can I just say, I hate the way this bloggin' tool organises my photographs, even being a techie I can't get them to go where I want! Grunt Grunt Give up!